This week, we sat down with Jennifer Irocky to talk about kink and psychology. We discussed what it’s like to study kink in an academic setting, as well as her personal journey, where kink was an important part of her healing process and mental health.
Introduction to Kink and Psychology
Jennifer thought it would be best to work backward for her Radioactive Spider Bite into Kink. She’s currently a Ph.D. student studying clinical psychology with a focus on sexuality and kink/BDSM. Her Spider Bite began when she realized that kink and BDSM can be used for mental health purposes, which was when she realized that living a vanilla lifestyle was unsatisfying. This had to do with mental health and sexual trauma, and the only way she could have intimate moments that she really enjoyed was through being dominant. For her, going through sexual trauma as a child meant that her sexuality was stolen from her, and dominance helped her reclaim this.
Kink, Psychology, and Dominance
Jennifer always knew that she was dominant because it was a sense of control that she needed in order to enjoy herself in sexual situations. As for what kind of play she gets up to, she’s very much a rigger and a sadist. At the moment, she has a partner that she enjoys experimenting with dressing up with and doing public play, as well as generally having control over him. They have a specific collar that they use, and some protocol they play with is that she always gets to eat first, she controls what he does, she schedules playtimes, and in general, everything they do is at her beck and call. Even though it sounds like a 24/7 relationship, they have a sense of trust in which her sub is able to bring up when he doesn’t feel like doing a specific thing, or if he’s not feeling a certain type of play at the time.
Kink and Psychology in Academia
In getting her Ph.D., Jennifer noticed that there’s not a lot of competency about kink/BDSM within medical professions. She realized that kink/BDSM medical practices are a very specific niche, and she wants to be that person for people in the community since they’re far and few between. Even in her program, there was only one fellow student that felt comfortable talking about sexuality. She says that even then, there was an element of taboo involved with talking about it, and this lack of competency doesn’t benefit the kink community-at-large.
Kinky Mental Health Support
In terms of giving back to the community, she offers a therapeutic service called Intimacy by Irocky, where she’s able to listen and offer validation to people facing struggles in the kink community. She works with people who want to work on using kink and BDSM to improve their sexual relationships, which is also trauma-informed. We talk about the value of her offering these groups on her FetLife page, because even if you want to see a kink-friendly therapist, it can be unclear whether or not that mental health professional actually has experience in kink. FetLife, for many people, is a safe area for people, where they can trust that they know the person they’re talking to is experienced in kink.
We also cover listener questions about stigmas around kink and sexuality, the myths that kink research has dispelled, and work being published in the academic world regarding kink and BDSM.
Related Information
Thanks for listening! If you enjoyed this one, you’d probably like episodes 253, 223, and 161.
Here’s Jennifer’s Fetlife, where you can find her support groups.
Did you know we host a virtual munch every Friday? You can find more details about that here!
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