This week, Dick and Gwen sat down to talk about begging kink. We talked about begging for things we love, begging for things we hate, begging vocabulary/phrases, how to play with this kink safely, and why we find all of it so hot.
Introduction to Begging Kink
To start, Dick talks about how his interest in begging kink has changed over time, but he’s always been interested in begging for his life. He also talks about how he’s usually able to add begging into “dirty talk” within any scene. Gwen mentions how begging is often overlooked because it can be seen as a typical aspect of dirty talk, but it can also be a kink all on its own.
Practical Applications of Begging Kink
As far as practical applications, they talk about how this kink goes hand-in-hand with tease and denial play. It often comes naturally with this type of play, because if someone is playing with your pleasure in a withholding way, it can be very easy to find yourself begging. Gwen talks about how she hasn’t been topping much recently, but she’s been able to find herself more comfortable with it through teasing and denying Dick. A lot of this is because you’re putting someone into a position where they desperately want something.
Dick talks about how fun it is to “flip the script” when it comes to this type of play, and have Gwen beg him to stop pleasing her, rather than having her beg to continue. This often takes place in a scene where it’s been pre-negotiated that Gwen wants to be denied, but it puts her in an interesting headspace to have to beg for it. She explains how this turns her into a “mushy ball of confusion.”
Begging and Pain Play
We also talk about how begging plays into pain/impact play, typically in which the bottom begs for their top to stop, or begs for more pain. Gwen doesn’t do a ton of impact play, but she agrees that a lot of the fun of impact is begging for your top to stop without using your safeword.
Safety with Begging
This brings up a conversation about safety surrounding begging. It’s important to have a lot of trust with your play partner, as well as having a safeword set in place before engaging with play that has to do with begging, or else you might be ignoring someone’s boundaries and/or limits. Gwen suggests checking in with your partner—as a top, you can say something like “just so we’re clear, ‘no’ isn’t your safeword, right?” or if you’re a bottom, you can clarify by saying “just to remind you, ‘no’ isn’t my safeword,” and you can remind your top what your safeword actually is.
We also respond to listener questions about begging’s role in CNC-related scenes, how to become more comfortable with begging, and how to beg non-verbally.
Related Information
Thanks for listening! If you enjoyed this one, you’d probably like episodes 250, 170, and 041.
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