This week, we sat down with kinky author Kate Sloan to talk all about her upcoming book, 101 Kinky Things Even You Can Do! We dove into the juicy deets on her original book proposal, the D/s protocols she implemented to help with writing, sections that didn’t make it into the book, and much more. We also asked her for advice on DD/lg, as well as engaging in kink when you’re dealing with mental and/or physical health complications.
Introduction to Being a Kinky Author
Since we’ve already heard Kate’s Radioactive Spider Bite into Kink, this time, we ask her about her Radioactive Spider Bite into Being a Kinky Author. She explains that when she was a child, she was having a conversation at a family party about what all of the kids wanted to do when they grew up. At the time, she wanted to be a Britney Spears-esque pop star, but her older cousin didn’t think this was right and suggested that she might become an author. She had never considered this as a career path, but her cousin ended up being entirely right. She was able to become a kinky author because she was reached out to by Laurence King Publishing, who at the time hadn’t published a sex-related book yet. After many conversations, they were able to land on the concept, and now the book is finally available.
101 Kinky Things Even You Can Do
Dick points out that something he thought was helpful and uncommon within the book is that Kate offers suggestions for how to play with a majority of the kinks solo. A lot of kinky authors, especially for 101-level material, tend to assume that the reader has a partner, which isn’t always the case. This is also really important because oftentimes, people have a fantasy for months or years before they ever bring it to a partner, and those people should still have a way to explore their kinks.
Adding onto the examples she gives in the book, Dick mentioned how in the voyeurism section, she suggests watching porn and pretending like you’re really there, watching from a secret place. Examples like this are really useful since many educational materials tend to focus on the physical sensations of kinks more heavily than the psychological aspects. However, psychology is a major part of kink, and you can have a lot of fun playing with kinks by just putting yourself into the right headspace.
D/s Dynamics and Productivity
Kate says that she doesn’t think she would have been able to write 101 Kinky Things without the help of kink, as well as her dynamic with her spouse, Matt. Together, the two of them developed D/s protocols to help her with the writing process, and if she finished the number of sections she needed to write, Matt would buy her a nice dinner as a reward at the end of the week. Matt would also choose which sections she would work on every week, because Kate knew that if she were to pick them, she would write all of the easiest sections first.
Kate’s DD/lg Advice
In our episode about pet names and honorifics, we got a question about how to get comfortable with calling your partner daddy within a budding DD/lg dynamic. This just so happened to coincide with Dick and Gwen starting a similar dynamic, so they felt that they weren’t able to give the best answer at the time. Since DD/lg is at the core of Kate’s kink life, we wanted to throw the question her way to see if she had any advice. She talks about how the term “daddy” doesn’t need to be gendered, and how it can be difficult to find a word that has the same level of emotional intensity. Additionally, when she first started using it with partners, she would often say it super quietly during sex. This is because it wasn’t so much for the other person to hear it, but for her to get comfortable with saying it.
Finally, Kate answers listener questions about her writing methods, how to write about kink for a newbie audience, whether or not writing the book changed the way she looks at kink, and how it felt to hold the book in her hands for the first time.
Related Information
Thanks for listening! If you enjoyed this one, you’d probably like Kate’s other guest appearances on episodes 176, 089, and 074. You can also check out Dick’s appearance on The Dildorks.
Preorder Kate’s new book—or if you’re listening to this after October 12, 2021, just buy it!
Follow Kate on Twitter and Instagram
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