For those who are unfamiliar, Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response (ASMR) is a physical sensation often described as a pleasurable tingling that tends to begin in the head and scalp, which often moves down the spine and through the limbs. Other ways people explain this unique sensation include “head tingles,” “spine tingles,” or a “brain massage.” A variety of triggers can elicit this pleasurable sensation depending on the person, and they may be auditory, visual, tactical, and/or olfactory in nature. Some of the most common ASMR triggers are whispering, eating sounds, crisp sounds (such as crinkling metallic foil or crunching leaves), hair cutting sounds, and receiving personal attention.
It’s important to note that not everyone is capable of experiencing ASMR—we don’t know why some people are susceptible to it while others aren’t, but one study shows that those who experience ASMR have higher Big Five personality trait scores in openness to experience and neuroticism while tending to have lower scores in conscientiousness, extraversion, and agreeableness. In my experience, people tend to love ASMR or completely despise it, such as those with misophonia. If you’re familiar with misophonia, in which sounds like chewing, whispering, and yawning activate a fight-or-flight response, you can think of ASMR as the opposite of that—the sounds that many people typically find disgusting or grating feel relaxing, potentially even euphoric to someone who experiences ASMR.
Whispering and speaking softly are common ASMR triggers.
ASMR as a Fetish
It’s also important to note that while not everyone experiences ASMR, an even smaller amount of people use ASMR for sexual stimulation, or consider it a fetish. In a study of 475 individuals who claim to experience ASMR, 98% largely sought out ASMR media for relaxation, 82% used it to help them fall asleep, and 70% used it to help relieve stress, while only 5% claim to use it for sexual stimulation, with the majority of participants (84%) disagreeing that it causes sexual stimulation. Currently on Fetlife, 126 kinksters claim to be into or curious about erotic ASMR. Based on what little information is available, I assume that while ASMR is a relatively niche fetish, I suspect that it would be more popular if more people were aware of it.
I was first exposed to ASMR as a potential fetish when I was a teenager through a Tumblr post. If you were on Tumblr between 2012-2014, there’s a good chance you came across this virtual hair cutting audio clip where a couple of jovial Italian men give you a binaural barbershop experience (that I recommend listening to with AirPods or other noise-canceling headphones). While this clip is nothing like the ASMR videos I watch on YouTube or clip sites today, I found myself incredibly relaxed and delighted with this post, and I saved it in my bookmarks to return to frequently over the next few years until I discovered the larger ASMR community on YouTube. Up until recently, while I almost always experience euphoric physical sensations while listening to ASMR, I never would have associated it with anything sexual.
Context and ASMR Fetish
What flipped the switch for me into ASMR being sexual was finding a partner who would make me personalized ASMR videos. While talking with my (at the time) long-distance partner about how my favorite and strongest trigger is eating sounds, he mentioned that he had made two audio clips a while back that consisted of him making a sandwich and eating it, as well as making a cocktail and drinking it. Unexpectedly, along with my usual response of blissful shivers running throughout my entire body as I listened to him eat the sandwich, I also found myself becoming deeply aroused. A big factor that did it for me was that my partner clearly intensely enjoys the meals he eats, so when he’s eating alone, he makes these amazing groans that pair beautifully with the sounds of chewing and smacking. At first I thought that this was an extremely niche fetish, but within the past year or so, I’ve discovered more and more porn clips that are ASMR related. I even had a great discussion on the show with Miss Mae Ling about how this fetish manifests for her and how she integrates it into her content.
Audio-related fetishes tend to be personal. When I’m browsing audio erotica, I might be really into a certain concept or fantasy, but I’m unable to get turned on by it unless I’m attracted to the creator’s voice. This applies to ASMR as well, and even if you can’t imagine yourself getting turned on by someone doing ASMR in a random YouTube video, you might be surprised at how you feel if it’s done by someone you find sexy.
Gwen tapping her acrylic nails on an impact toy for an ASMR video.
ASMR Fetish Controversy
While ASMR is definitely a fetish for me, I’ve noticed a divide between the greater ASMR and fetish communities. In a lot of forums I’ve browsed, when the subject of ASMR being a fetish comes up people are quick to say that it’s not a fetish whatsoever (and are often quite defensive about it). In the r/ASMR community on Reddit, any post I’ve seen that alludes to it being a fetish is heavily downvoted, even if the post is merely about discussing whether or not it counts as a fetish. From what I’ve read, I’ve come to the conclusion that this is because people are afraid that if they admit to any sexual component within their interest in ASMR, it will be stereotyped as only a fetish thing, which it isn’t for many people. I saw one comment that made a comparison I really liked: “ASMR is like a massage: it can be done in a sexual way, but can also be purely soothing.”
ASMR Fetish and Intimacy
I know it baffles people that ASMR is a popular interest, let alone a fetish, but when I put some thought into it I think it makes a lot of sense that ASMR can cross into the sexual realm. This type of content puts a lot of emphasis on intimacy and trancing the viewer into a relaxed, potentially hypnotic state. Additionally, those who perform ASMR are often exposing themselves in a vulnerable way, such as showing eating up close, whispering, and a multitude of other acts that are typically viewed as strange to perform on-camera. Honestly, a lot of the medical or fantasy roleplay-themed ASMR videos I’ve watched on YouTube have a very similar vibe to solo roleplays I’ve purchased on ManyVids. When you combine these high levels of intimacy, vulnerability, and relaxation, it only makes sense to me that it would become a fetish for a lot of people, especially audiophiles.
While not necessarily sexual in nature, due to the amount of ASMR porn out there, I think it’s safe to say that ASMR is definitely a valid fetish. However, if you’re interested in investigating ASMR for sexual reasons, I would recommend buying ASMR porn rather than getting off to it on YouTube, unless the creator specifies that they’re okay with their content being sexualized.
If you’re interested in ASMR and want to see (and hear) more, you can watch me try my hand at it on our Patreon!
