I grew up during a particular time on the internet where doing something “for the lulz” was considered a noble cause. The communities I spent the most time in revered those who took that extra step to make something funny, even (or especially) at the expense of themselves in some outrageous way. Though those were…foolish—let’s just agree to call them foolish—times, the spirit of “for the lulz” still burns on inside of me, which is why, out of all the many different fun and exciting items that BestVibe has to offer, I chose to review this little man today, the Gentleman Suction Cup Black Anal Dildo.
Certainly, BestVibe had many options to offer me in terms of a review item, any number of tantalizing options that spoke of potential pleasure, but once I saw this man I knew I had to have him. Just look at his tie! His washboard abs and speedo! THAT. LITTLE. BOOTY! I had no idea if I was going to like this dildo practically, but, I mean, look at it; we are way past that being a concern. Design-wise I was already absolutely delighted. I scrolled down a bit and found out that this dildo actually has its own backstory. That’s right, deep dildo lore, which I will now present to you here:
A STORY OF MR. BEAST
Once upon a time, there was a handsome prince. Thousands of young girls were attracted by his handsome appearance, and witches were no exception. She used witchcraft to force the prince to become her lover. But the prince has his own heart, and he refuses to be the witch’s lover. The evil wizard cast a vicious curse on the prince. At midnight, the prince would turn into a realistic dildo monster. Only sex can break the curse. And you are the one he has been waiting for, his elixir.
Would you refuse to answer such a noble call to action?
Mr. Beast arrived at my home much quicker than I anticipated. The package was a little messy due to international shipping but not damaged, and so I tore open the box in excitement, only to be immediately surprised—this guy is actually way smaller than I expected! The height on the listing was accurate (it’s 7” tall) but the width turned out to be much less than reported. In retrospect, I should have suspected that something was off, because the width as listed on the site is 4.7”, which would have looked significantly different proportionally than the model shown. I estimate that the toy is a little less than 1.5” in diameter at the widest point (the shoulders/chest) and about 1” around the coronal ridge. I was slightly disappointed, as I generally prefer girthy dildos, but gosh darn if those cute little cheeks don’t make up for it.
Lexi romancing the Gentleman Dildo
This dildo is made of a squishy silicone with a lovely matte finish. Also, its suction cup is extremely strong; I don’t often make use of suction cups myself, but it’s good to know that this one really sticks, if you’re the type who does use them. As far as sensation goes, I am glad to say that I was pleasantly surprised! If you’ve read any of my other dildo reviews, you know I can be a bit of a girth queen. So when I started playing with this slim gentleman, I didn’t get that deep, filing sensation I usually enjoy. But as I continued to use him (witch’s curse and all that, you understand), I found that the taper from the head to the shoulders was absolutely drool-worthy. I love the sensation of a toy gently stretching my vaginal opening, and even though the taper on this isn’t dramatic, it’s incredibly smooth and satisfying. I changed my quick, long strokes to slower, more focused insertion and I got off super quickly. When it comes to the texture on the rest of the dildo, I didn’t find that any of it stood out greatly. The head has a minor curve to it, which did add a bit of G-spot stimulation but nothing too dramatic. None of those things matter too much to me though, because what Mr. Beast does for me is plenty satisfying on his own.
And so, my final assessment:
Pros:
- Soft silicone
- Strong suction cup
- Pleasurable taper
- Delightful website illustrations
- Cheap (only $18)
Cons:
- Not girthy
I really didn’t know what to expect with this toy and was fully prepared to be trying it for the lulz, but in this case I was pleasantly surprised. Though I usually opt for bigger dildos, the smooth taper from the head to the shoulders provides a widening sensation that I absolutely LOVE. I definitely see myself using this toy again in the future when I crave that type of sensation. I recommend it to anyone who likes thinner dildos, especially if they’re a fan of novelty shapes. I’d also recommend it to anyone who ever thought to themselves “Damn, I’d really like to fuck an Oscar award.” You know who you are.
This is a sponsored post, meaning we were compensated for our honest review of this product. Thank you to BestVibe for sending this product for us to review!
